Recap 2011 - The Lost Months

Where's 2011?! Where have I been?? Let's see if I can get myself up to speed and do a better job of keep up with this blog. In fact, I forgot I had one. I can't even believe that I remembered the log on and password information. I guess it's a small kind of accomplishment and this blog must have some great importance to me that I would remember such minute details. :)

Here goes:
January 2011 - This was a very happening month for me. It was the heart of the district basketball season. We weren't doing incredibly well considering we were a small school in the heart of basketball country in New Mexico but we tried really hard. I was the JV coach for BHS at the time. The JV squad was at .500 at the time. We faired pretty well before Christmas time and pick up quite a few wins but struggled early with the local teams. My 29th birthday was this month. It wasn't too exciting. I had an away game that day and didn't have time to celebrate that day. I remember coming home after eleven that evening to find my mom asleep on the couch. She was waiting up for me because she had a small surprise. She bought one of my favorite cupcakes and lit a single candle and told me to make a wish and blow out the candles because birthday wishes have no expiration date. LoL! My mom is so clever and so loving. I don't know how she can do things like that and make me feel like the most special thing to her. Granted I already know I am, but in reality, I am one of THREE special beings to her (me and my sisters). Hahaha...that pretty much summed up January because my birthday is on the last day of the month. :)

February 2011 - February was a rather emotional month. It was the end of an era for me that month. First off, we finished a rough basketball season. We missed out on a bid to the state basketball tournament. We had a clear shot to be one of the top 16 teams in the state but after being "graded" we came out #17 one spot out of state tournament contention! :( Little did we know that this would be the last time we would see these players play together. We were going to lose a few to graduation, some decided to move and others just didn't want to play anymore. We had youth on our side, but we were going to be very short on talent. I had a disappointing Valentine's Day. I didn't have one. Hahaha....but I did have my trusty 12 year old valentine who hasn't failed me for the last two years! I love you Dominick! He's the son of my friend. He's cute and pudgy! He decided we could be valentines since he didn't like any of the girls in his class....lucky me! :) That was probably the best parts of February.

March 2011 - TRACK SEASON! :) I love March for junior high and high school track season. Practicing and competing for track is done outside and I love that! I spend about 1/2 of my coaching indoors for volleyball and basketball that track is always a great change. We had most of our track staff intact. Coach Hatch, Coach Montoya, myself, Coach Lopez and Coach Foucault. We have such a great time! I truly believe in the smallest measure are more friends on that track than assistants to the high school staff. :) I had a good turn out. I had about 20 girls and 20 boys try out throwing. I didn't do anything exciting for spring break, just stayed around and relaxed.

April 2011 - The track season continued on. We had a pretty good girls team and with what few boys Coach Lopez had, he managed to whip them into competitors. He's just gifted that way. :) We had cold weather this season! I spent alot of time in my huge overcoat with gloves. I think we had snow, rain but mostly cold, cold, winds! Man, someone really got on the bad side of Zephyr (wind deity). We had a pretty good run with throwers. I had the top three throwers in the Basin for boys and I had at least two girls in the top 5. If anything I can  ever say about my kiddos is they work hard! I appreciate that!

May 2011 - May cycled back in to an emotional month for me. Our kids had a good showing at the end of the year meet. The places escape me but I know it was good. Hahaha...good season! This was also graduation month. It was emotional because the first group of kids I worked with when I started working for the schools graduated this year! They were mere 5th graders and here they were young men and women with such ambition and ready to move on to the next step! I had many tell me I helped them along the way with simple sayings, hugs or just acknowledging their existence. It's had to believe because you really don't think that you do all that or even that much but I did. :) For the first time, since dropping out of college, I felt like I did something right. What an awesome month it was!

Summer - June, July, first half of August 2011 - The summer months are the most uneventful for me. I do the same thing every year. I have a no-brainer job that I work at three days a week in the evening times after practice. I continue to work all through the summer. I also play women's league softball in Farmington. I have been a part of my team for about four years. We had a great season. We won the league title, mid-season title, the Jicarilla Little Beaver Round-up women's title, the Escalante Days women's title, but came up short at the All-Indian tournament in Albuquerque and got second. It wasn't a total loss though I was named to the all-tourney team. :) Good times when I play softball. It's me interacting with my peer group. All through the year I coach and work at a school so my age range is 6-18 years old and even they just don't relate to you sometimes. It's my one outlet.

August 2011 - The school year rolled around again. School always seems to come quick when you're so busy and that was me this year. I made a change last school year by becoming a full-time substitute so I could get back in to college and finish with sometime. Well that didn't quite go as planned so I said: Screw it! and went back to working full time with the schools. This time I was in a behavior therapy class. It was nice to be back. I also learned that I would only coach volleyball this year. I got sad news that my head coach in bball got an offer to another school and he took it. Because of that change, I was not offered a position back with the program. :( Also, track is a year to year for me. There is either funding for me or not, simple as that. Well as of this month, there was no funding. :( Boo!
September 2011 - Work was going pretty well. I was trying to get the hang of the behavior program but I had to deal with going to a different school with a much larger population. It turned out to be a great change, although I was going to miss my middle school colleagues. It was another season of Bobcat Volleyball. Things were a little shaky with low numbers but we were faring okay. We had lots of tune up games to prepare us for our rigorous schedule. It was also the month of my youngest sister's birthday. Just a lot of volleyball and traveling for this month.

October 2011 - We now were in the heart of volleyball season. We were up and down all year. My personal life took a turn for the positive. I was reunited with my bestest friend on the planet after her move to Maryland. I also was reunited with my best guy friend. He's my childhood bestie who has been there for most of my life up until about eight years ago. He just left and suddenly he was back! I needed them so much because my personal friendships back here were falling apart slowly. His name is Derrick. I;ve missed these two so much! I believe they were sent back to me for a good reason. I love them so much! I hope it's a long time before be part again. This month was my middle sister's birthday. It was a busy month of volleyball but I enjoyed hanging out with my friends and talking to them. Just another day in the neighborhood...

November 2011 - We had a very disappointing showing at the district volleyball tournament and didn't get any consideration for state. It was a chill month because there was no basketball to coach. I did take up scorekeeping for extra cash but it almost killed me. I couldn't handle how much the kids seem to be lost and definitely between programs! LoL...had a good Thanksgiving. We celebrated by ourselves at home. Fun fun! We hit a movie or two and relaxed all holiday! I loved it!

December 2011 - Another chill month. We only go to school for half of the month because of Christmas. Work was fun. I love activities for Christmas. We had concerts and movies and ice cream. :) Kept on scorekeeping and just relaxed! I also took some classes too. I forgot to mention that earlier. I had three classes and passed all in magnificient fashion. Christmas was great as always! Family was here and we just partied like no tomorrow. Lots of laughs and shared memories for departed family members not in attendance. It's heartbreaking but also heartwarming for the light they have lit in our hearts and souls. :) Rest in Peace - my dad, my maternal grandpa and grandma and my paternal grandpa and grandma.

I did it! I remember most of 2011! I hope to be able to do it for 2012. Things really picked up and changed for me that year! Stay tuned...

Someone in Heaven loves me

I am so lame. I am a firm believer in cliches. I agree that when God closes the door, he opens a window. I believe that when it rains it pours. I believe in what goes around comes around. The one I will always believe is when you are at your lowest the only way to go is up. I've felt that way the last couple of months. I have felt that I was just purely existing with no purpose. I mean I am a substitute teacher and I coach high school and junior high athletes but you can still feel transparent. Up until two weeks ago, I think someone watching out for me saw and felt my moments of despair and threw me a bone. They sent me the most unbelieveable person. It was my sister, my friend! I had never known where she had been these past eight years. We drifted apart having no way to communicate and suddenly - a phone call! You couldn't imagine the light in my eyes and soul ignite and shine through. Oh how I've missed her. It was the most amazing day to see her again. We laughed just as we laughed eight years ago. We smiled and almost cried. I know I wanted to but I was to happy to cry. I feel so alive right now. I hope it never goes away. I hope she never goes away...well too far anyway. She might be getting married soon...she's in denial but I think she will. Hahaha her boyfriend is an amazing fellow. I think he's her match! Until that day, I hope we can make up eight years and continue through a lifetime. Thank you to whoever is watching out for me. Thank you for erasing some of the pain in my heart. I don't know what else to say.

Cosmic collisions I call Destiny

Here I am...it's November. Where was I in September and October? I didn't move and I didn't run away unfortunately. I have been here...that's the thing about me, I am always here. I think it has a lot to do with my last post in Yahoo: "I am tired. I am tired of giving in to everyone, I am tired of giving in to everything and most of all, I am tired of everyone expecting me to." I can't believe that I have let myself become that easy. Have I always been this way? I can't remember the last time I even stood up for myself. I can't remember the last time I even said what I was feeling at the moment someone asked. I seem to always be the one asking all the questions: Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need help? I wonder what it's like to have someone care that much about what I feel and think. Most times I have friends who take and very rarely give in return. I think that is my fault. I don't ask for payment and very rarely do I collect any kind of payment. I know people who give "things" in return but I don't want "things." I just want someome to talk to. Someone to agree and disagree with things I have to say. I think it's time I go find "him." I know who "He" is and I think he knows who "He" is but I have to tell him. Maybe he's the missing piece of my being. Maybe I will finally become the complete person I want to be after I take my destiny into my own hands. It's scary but it's time.

Fork in the road...which way do I go?

The Beginning...The Middle...and The End...

I don't often speak of my family because as we have all come to an agreement that there are not enough words to describe us, describe our relationships with each other and definitely no words to describe our love for one another. We are the greatest dysfunctional family, but the key is we are a family. We are four sides of a pyramid. Meaning, we all can go our own way as far as we want, but ultimately we start from the same point where we meet and come together. We are four very different personalities. My sisters and I have take on the responsibility of taking care of our mother. She's doesn't need it yet but what do you do when she's the only parent you've got left? We've shared the same woes, the same losses and the same setbacks. Each of us has sacrificed something for one another. It's what we do. We don't wage useless wars, we don't fight useless battles and we don't waste valuable wisdom and knowledge. We are very caring individuals. We don't like to admit that children are our biggest vice. We all melt for a smart child, a rambunctious child, a cute child, a smiley child and a playful child. We are women.

• The Matriarch is the head of our family - immediate and extended. She is not the eldest is her family but she is treated with the highest respect as if she were. She is the rock of her family. Her door is always open. She has a happy, loving and warm home. She is a traditional Navajo woman. She is strong. She is not affectionate but she tries. She speaks - we listen. She does - we watch. She is Mom.


• The Muse is the protector of the arts in our house. She is a life long student of the arts and music. She, like the nine daughters of Zeus, does it all. She's a poet, she's a writer, she's a scholar, she's a musician, she's a dramatic, she's a dancer, she's a connoisseur, she's an athlete, she's a Googler, but most of all she is my sister. She is the quiet and perceptive one. She has an eye for detail and beauty. She needs balance and excitement. She's loves to learn and she loves to share. She is Kayla.


• And finally Ms. Charisma...she is young and carefree. She is the baby and the most loving. She is happy. She is an instigator. She is the tallest. She is the strongest. She is loudest. She is quick-witted. She is a student of human nature. She is easy to love. She is a magnet. She is warm and welcoming. She is a texter. She is also an artist, a scholar, a dramatic and an amazing dancer. She is organized and balanced. She is a leader. She is Deidra and she is my sister.

We are who we are. We are strong Navajo women. We respect and cherish tradition. We have strong hearts and minds. We are confident and caring. We are so much more...just ask us. :)

Fighting with GIANTS!

Well here it is...near the end of track season. I don't quite know how to sum it up exactly. All I know for sure is that it went really, really fast! I think this is the first time I feel like I didn't teach my throwers enough. I know when you see them they look the part, but they didn't get the principles of what they're doing and that kills me! Granted, if I were looking for excuses, I do have a few of them that will help me feel better, but I am not going to cash them in.

1. I was two weeks late in coming out for track. I coach high school basketball and after a pretty successful season, we had a chance at a post-season. Something like that is a pretty big accomplishment for us. :D
2. I had a lot of athletes who tried out for throwing this season. I had over twenty kids at one time. These kids are young teenagers who still whine, cry and get their feelings hurt when I get after them. It's like taking my reading class to practice everyday except I can't send them to detention or give them referral. It's better, I get to make them run or send them home. :)
3. I can just simply say I didn't have any athletes. I didn't have any kids who know how to compete. This isn't true at all because at this age most kids are goofy and a little uncoordinated. Yes, there are the gifted few but we usually call them sprinters. Besides, I have been doing this a little under ten years and I have been able to mold the most uncoordinated and sometimes the laziest kids into decent throwers. So, according to me, all of my throwers have the potential to be athletes. :)
4. The weather this season sucked. We didn't get enough reps like I would have wanted. When we can't practice outside we can't throw and we lose a day. We do have indoor implements, but when we are inside so is the high school. Even in track, a hierarchy exists, we take what we can get and make the best of it. :)
5. My last excuse is usually my favorite one - We didn't have enough time. If I had another week or two weeks I know we would have done better. This may or may not be true but it's always up for discussion. In real life that one or two weeks more maybe one or two weeks too long. See...always a gray area...no real way to tell.

I think that list is pretty conclusive of all the elements that made my track season seem a little bit lacking and unsuccessful. However, the truth of the matter is these kids finishing the season and having a chance to compete in the final track meet is quite the accomplishment. Here's what they have come away with and it makes my job worthwhile:

1. These kids unknowingly have learned to meet expectations and have learned commitment.
2. These kids have learned how to be competitiors.
3. They have improved their over physical health and mental toughness to face obstacles and overcome them.
4. They have learned to represent themselves and their school with pride.
5. They have improved themselves by learning to adapt with different kinds of people who are not a part of their normal social circles.
6. They have learned to be accepting and encouraging as they all took on a sport they know nothing about.

Well the results are pretty obvious, the kids always come away with more than they bargained for. It's their accomplishments I am proud of more than my own. I think I can proudly say Bobcat Throwing at Mesa Alta Junior High was a SUCCESS! :)

C.A.M.

I had the luxury of three days to go from high school basketball to junior high track. I never realized how big the transition is. I go from coaching high school girls to junior high girls in a matter of days and I am never prepared for it. I go from coaching kids knowing almost everything to kids who know nothing at all but that I am always ready for. I go from coaching just girls to mixing junior high girls and boys on my throwing team. What a joy that can be...it's like watching the health book flash before your very eyes. The mood swings, dramatics, the constant changing of boyfriends and girlfriends like the days on a calendar, and their babyish mannerisms. How can they argue about wanting be treated like young adults when they still squeal like infants and have tantrums like toodlers? The last and biggest change that I can't ever get used to is the venue. I spend almost five months in a nice 70 degree gym and never have to wear a jacket or long sleeves for that fact. Then, for track it's like being thrown on a mountain top with just a t-shirt. The weather is relentless. It's crazy but fun! I love track season! It's a sure sign that warm weather is on the way. Gosh...I love my job! :)