Cosmic collisions I call Destiny

Here I am...it's November. Where was I in September and October? I didn't move and I didn't run away unfortunately. I have been here...that's the thing about me, I am always here. I think it has a lot to do with my last post in Yahoo: "I am tired. I am tired of giving in to everyone, I am tired of giving in to everything and most of all, I am tired of everyone expecting me to." I can't believe that I have let myself become that easy. Have I always been this way? I can't remember the last time I even stood up for myself. I can't remember the last time I even said what I was feeling at the moment someone asked. I seem to always be the one asking all the questions: Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need help? I wonder what it's like to have someone care that much about what I feel and think. Most times I have friends who take and very rarely give in return. I think that is my fault. I don't ask for payment and very rarely do I collect any kind of payment. I know people who give "things" in return but I don't want "things." I just want someome to talk to. Someone to agree and disagree with things I have to say. I think it's time I go find "him." I know who "He" is and I think he knows who "He" is but I have to tell him. Maybe he's the missing piece of my being. Maybe I will finally become the complete person I want to be after I take my destiny into my own hands. It's scary but it's time.