CrazyAmbitiousMe

• I often sit and wonder why I do the things I do sometimes. It's not that I can't think for myself I just enjoy having others think for me once in awhile. Both of my everyday jobs requires me to think and plan all the time. If I don't plan then the whole train falls apart. It's very interesting that it works out that way because "in real life" I am the most unorganized person on the planet. My whole universe is in constant disarray. I find more comfort and joy in the piles of papers everywhere than in folders neatly on the desk and clothes piled on the floor than folded neatly or hung in the closet. My backpack is the same way. There are pockets made to serve specific purposes but I don't use them as intended. I often wonder is that my own personal revolution against order and conformity? Nah...I am bold enough to venture out and say I am just lazy and am very happy to just be an unconventional person.
• The second thing I do that I am almost sure makes me an unfavorable person sometimes is I am an optimist. I have this uncanny ability to see the silver lining. I don't look for it it just appears. My favorite lines are always "It could be worse...or Things like that have a funny way of working out..." Hahaha I don't mean to be shallow but isn't it true is a very strange and twisted way? I have seen death too many times in my lifetime. Even then I still manage to be happy even though God has taken away some very special people. I guess maybe because I know he can't break his own rule of taking without giving. He has taken some amazing beings but he has also replaced then even more amazing beings. I can't complain. I guess it's my belief in the goodness of the humanity that makes me this way. I know it's a very naive way to live but it works for me.
• Try untangling that ball of string!